What Can We Learn From The Responses Of Martha And Mary In Their Grief And Faith?
The Responses of Martha and Mary: Lessons in Grief and Faith
The story of Martha and Mary, especially in John 11, offers profound insight into the human experience of grief and the nature of faith in Jesus Christ. Both sisters react to the death of their brother, Lazarus, in ways that provide important lessons for believers today.
The Setting: The Death of Lazarus
Lazarus, a beloved friend of Jesus and brother to Martha and Mary, falls ill. Despite the sisters sending for Jesus, He delays His arrival, and Lazarus dies. This sets the stage for an encounter that reveals both the pain of loss and the hope of resurrection.
Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus. When therefore he heard that he was sick, he abode at that time two days in the place where he was. - John 11:5-6 ASV
Martha's Response: Faith Seeking Understanding
When Jesus arrives, Martha is the first to meet Him. Her words are a mixture of grief and hope:
Martha therefore said unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. And even now I know that, whatsoever thou shalt ask of God, God will give thee. - John 11:21-22 ASV
Martha expresses sorrow, but also a remarkable faith in Jesus' power. She acknowledges God’s sovereignty, yet struggles with the reality before her. Jesus responds by declaring Himself the resurrection and the life:
Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth on me, though he die, yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and believeth on me shall never die. Believest thou this? - John 11:25-26 ASV
Martha’s confession of faith is central:
She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I have believed that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, even he that cometh into the world. - John 11:27 ASV
Insight: Martha’s approach shows that faith does not deny sorrow or questions, but brings them to Jesus. She models how believers can honestly wrestle with pain while holding onto Christ’s promises.
Mary's Response: Grief Expressed in Presence
Mary, on the other hand, waits at home until Jesus calls for her. When she meets Him, her words echo Martha’s but are marked by deep emotion:
Mary therefore, when she came where Jesus was, and saw him, fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. - John 11:32 ASV
Mary’s response is less verbal and more emotional; she falls at Jesus’ feet, weeping. Her grief moves Jesus deeply:
When Jesus therefore saw her weeping...he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled...Jesus wept. - John 11:33-35 ASV
Insight: Mary teaches that raw, honest emotion is welcomed by Jesus. He does not rebuke her for her sorrow but is moved by it, sharing in her grief. Christ’s tears affirm His compassion and His identification with human suffering (Hebrews 4:15 ASV).
Lessons for Today
- Bring your questions and pain to Jesus. Both sisters express their disappointment and sorrow honestly. Faith is not the absence of grief but turning to Christ in the midst of it.
- Faith and emotion co-exist. Martha verbalizes her faith even as she struggles; Mary weeps at Jesus’ feet. Both responses are valid and met with Christ’s compassion.
- Christ is central in our hope. Jesus draws Martha’s faith to Himself as the resurrection and the life, reminding believers that all hope is anchored in His person and work (1 Peter 1:3 ASV).
- Jesus meets us where we are. Whether we come with questions or tears, Christ is present, compassionate, and able to bring life out of death.
Conclusion
The responses of Martha and Mary in John 11 encourage believers to approach Jesus with honesty—whether through words or tears. Jesus’ compassionate response and declaration of His power over death remind us that, even in our deepest grief, faith in Him is not misplaced. His presence brings hope and resurrection.