In Matthew 18 How Should We Approach Someone Who Has Sinned Against Us According To Jesus Instructions?
Understanding Jesus’ Instructions on Confronting a Brother Who Sins Against You (Matthew 18)
When conflict arises within the Christian community, Jesus provides clear, compassionate, and wise instructions for handling it. Matthew 18:15–17 offers a step-by-step approach for addressing sin between believers, emphasizing restoration, accountability, and love. Let’s explore these verses, their meaning, and practical application.
1. The Context: Life in the Kingdom
Matthew 18 is a chapter devoted to life within the community of believers. Earlier, Jesus discusses humility, the value of the “little ones,” and the parable of the lost sheep — all reinforcing God’s heart for reconciliation rather than separation.
And if thy brother sin against thee, go, show him his fault between thee and him alone: if he hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. - Matthew 18:15 ASV
2. Step One: Private Reconciliation
Jesus’ first instruction is to address the matter privately. This protects the dignity of both parties and demonstrates love, as Proverbs 10:12 says, “love covereth all transgressions.” The primary goal is restoration, not condemnation.
- Initiative: The one who has been sinned against is called to take the first step.
- Privacy: The matter is kept between the two individuals to prevent unnecessary embarrassment or gossip (Galatians 6:1).
- Goal: Reconciliation—“thou hast gained thy brother.”
3. Step Two: Bringing Witnesses
But if he hear thee not, take with thee one or two more, that at the mouth of two witnesses or three every word may be established. - Matthew 18:16 ASV
If private confrontation fails, Jesus instructs to bring one or two others. This echoes Deuteronomy 19:15—the principle of multiple witnesses for establishing truth. These witnesses are not there to gang up, but to confirm facts and help mediate.
4. Step Three: Involving the Church
And if he refuse to hear them, tell it unto the church: and if he refuse to hear the church also, let him be unto thee as the Gentile and the publican. - Matthew 18:17 ASV
If there is still no repentance, the matter is brought to the broader church body. The purpose remains restoration, but also protection of the community’s spiritual health. Persistent, unrepentant sin must be confronted for the sake of the individual and the whole church.
- Final Step: If there’s still no repentance, the unresponsive person is to be treated “as the Gentile and the publican”—meaning outside the fellowship, but always with a view to eventual restoration if repentance comes (2 Corinthians 2:6-8).
5. The Spirit of Restoration
Throughout, Jesus’ instructions are grounded in love and the desire for restoration. The goal is always reconciliation, never retribution. This reflects God’s own heart, as seen in the parable of the lost sheep (Matthew 18:12-14).
Brethren, even if a man be overtaken in any trespass, ye who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to thyself, lest thou also be tempted. - Galatians 6:1 ASV
6. Forgiveness: The Next Step
Immediately following these instructions, Peter asks about forgiveness, leading Jesus to teach on unlimited forgiveness (the parable of the unforgiving servant, Matthew 18:21-35). This shows that even after confrontation, we are called to forgive as we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32).
7. Practical Application
- Approach in humility and prayer, seeking the other’s restoration (James 5:19-20).
- Guard against gossip; keep the circle as small as possible for as long as possible.
- Always be willing to extend forgiveness when repentance occurs.
Conclusion
Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 18 remain a foundational pattern for church relationships: loving confrontation, patient restoration, and unlimited forgiveness. This approach honors Christ, protects His church, and displays the grace of the gospel to the world.